First let’s start with the parents.
I have been aware for most of my adult life of the desire and need for my parents acceptance. Trying to buy the perfect gifts, trying to do the right thing.
I at the same time have realized that no matter what effort and desire I had, I wasn’t assured in the least to get my parents acceptance. It didn’t seem to matter what I did.
Thus, I was mad and hurt that they couldn’t see how I have gone out of my way and how much I cared (I mean how much I needed their acceptance to be okay).
My trying to do the right thing had nothing to do with me caring. It only had to do with me being out of alignment with my true Self, being out of my center, separate from source.
Now let’s address friends.
Acceptance from friends looks for me like this: I say the right thing, to make them happy, I say the right thing to stranger to manipulate them into liking me, to get understanding and yes, acceptance. I am all the time looking for people to accept me the way I’m acting or being because I feel not okay with myself.
Let me ask you one thing, when you are okay with yourself. If you have ever even felt this, or if you have able to realize the feeling of being integrated with source, your true Self, how much are you okay with you? Are you looking for acceptance?
The only time we are looking for acceptance is when we are out of alignment or our mind is telling a story (that isn’t true,. You have to watch the mind… being controlled by ego, it creates internal and external conflict wherever it goes – in the form of I’m not good enough, I should of, I could of, etc. etc.). When the mind is telling us a story, and we buy it, we are then in reactive perceiver mode. Meaning that we see the world through these glasses We are looking for acceptance, cause we don’t accept ourselves.
Here’s how to jump out of this.
One. Simply Slow down.
Sit. Listen to you body, how does it feel. Allow the feelings. Even if they are uncomfortable (and they will likely be uncomfortable). To explain this through yogic philosophy, this is energy moving in your body and wanting to leave. Things come up to leave. If we just observe it and don’t react to it, it will leave effortlessly (meaning without us doing anything about it). This is what I teach people to do.
Two. Watch the energy, relax with it.
Three. Accept what is coming up, look at it. It’s not you. It’s something you are experiencing. That’s all. We all have the capacity to heal ourselves of the pain and suffering we experience everyday, by sitting with the pain we feel and being with it.
Sometimes this take a few sittings. But it does disappear.
Yoga is another way to release the pain that is trapped and held in our body.
This is why my teacher would say, if yoga doesn’t change your life, its not yoga.
Specifically, it’s known scientifically that we store trauma and pain in our bodies. Every thought we have creates a molecular chemical reaction in our body. These chemicals if not released create tension and tightness not only in our body but our minds and emotional state of being.
By doing authentic yoga, we learn to release these tensions, thus freeing our body, mind and emotions of our past. Then we are able to realize our inner calling for a new life. To change how we are reacting into a conscious choice in alignment with our center, our Self and in harmony with life.
Overall what I have learned is that when I am seeking acceptance of others, this very act is against my Self. Why would I look outside for something that I already have. When I slow down and let go of wanting others acceptance, I realize, I am whole and complete. Ok, just as I am.
Returning to the flow